


Day 2: The Music Box

by reiley



Series: Not So Average Days [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-02-11
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:57:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reiley/pseuds/reiley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you wanted a Torchwood musical?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 2: The Music Box

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted: 11/06/08

* * *

Jack sits up, rubbing his sore head. He’s on the floor of the hub, with no recollection of how he got there. As he stands, a soft groan escapes him and white spots appear before his eyes. Shaking his head is a bad move, but he manages to stay upright, steadying himself with a hand on Toshiko’s desk. Alarmed, Jack checks that nothing is running when it shouldn’t be, or isn't when it should. She’d kill him if he accidentally… unplugged something. She banned him from coming anywhere near her desk. _You interrupt a silly translation program in a search for CCTV of naked hide-and-seek_ just once _and you’re labeled for life._

Looking around the hub, everything seems as it should be, all is quiet, nothing out of place.

Except for the weevil tap dancing in the autopsy bay - good acoustics - and when Myfanwy swoops down and alights on the walkway just in front of him to speak she has the voice of Ethel Merman.

_“There’s no business like show business!”_

Jack stumbles back, blinking. “What?”

She extends her wing toward him, a black top hat dangling from one sharp claw. Hesitantly, Jack takes the hat. Myfanwy _looks_ at him, and if pterodactyls had eyebrows she’d have just raised hers. Jack puts the hat on his head.

That seems to please her, as she nods her head and sings out, _“Nowhere could you get that happy feeling when you are stealing that extra bow!”_ Her claws clatter along the floor, tappity-tap-tap.

Jack stares.

_“Let’s go on with the show!”_ Myfanwy sings. She sweeps a wing in his direction, holding her pose expectantly. _“I’ve got rhythm. I’ve got music. I’ve got my man, who could ask for anything more?”_ And taps her claws, waiting.

Tentatively, Jack moves his feet, surprised by the sound. And more so by the pack of weevils tapping behind him. The hub appears bigger than he remembers, accommodating the dancing troupe. Jack taps, they follow. And Myfanwy keeps singing until Jack joins in.

“I’ve got starlight. I’ve got sweet dreams. I’ve got my man- Ianto!” Jack grabs him by the shoulders and sweeps the startled man into his arms.

And Ianto sings to him, _“Who could ask for anything more?”_ Jack whirls them both around and sort of wishes Ianto were wearing a fancy ball gown. Dancing is always better when someone is wearing a twirly skirt.

But he wouldn’t give up Ianto in suits for anything in the world. Except maybe Ianto naked. All the time. It’s quite a sight. Jack sings, “Your heart goes pitter-patter. And I know what’s the matter! Because I’ve been there once or twice!” He spins Ianto out, arms extended, and draws him back in. The weevils do a little soft-shoe off to the side.

Jack continues singing, “Put your head on my shoulder,” suiting action to words. “You need someone who’s older. A rubdown with a velvet glove!” He waggles his eyebrows at Ianto, earning him a wry smile, and leans forward to press a kiss to Ianto’s flushed, pink lips.

Myfanwy continues the song in the background, _“You’re not sick. You’re just in love!”_

Gliding his hand down to the small of Ianto’s back, Jack pulls him in closer, bodies flush. Then lets his hand slide down a little farther, giving Ianto a wicked grin.

~~~

Owen comes barreling into the hub, shouting, “What the bloody hell is going on in here?!”

Gwen and Tosh are hot on his heels. They all come to an abrupt halt.

Jack belts out, “So, let’s go on with the show!” Ianto is struggling, trying to free himself from Jack’s arms. He stumbles, trips, and falls flat on his bottom. The pterodactyl squawks, then launches herself into the air.

Gwen, eyes wide and round, stares at Jack having some sort of fit, hopping and skipping around the hub. She turns her gaze to the other man on the floor. “Ianto?”

“Um.” Ianto picks himself up, dusts himself off, clears his throat, and says, “Yeah. I think Jack opened that box.” He points to the sparkly, pink box sitting by Toshiko’s computer that she’d been running scans on earlier.

Tosh clambers down the steps and picks up her scanner. “I thought it wouldn’t open?” She runs the scanner over and around the box. “Whatever was in here, if anything, is gone now. It’s just a box.” She sounds disappointed.

Owen steps up next to her. He glances between Jack - still dancing, but now he’s on the sofa - and the dead weevil he’d left on the autopsy table. “Whatever was in it, I think must have gone into Jack.”

Hastily, Tosh spins around and holds her scanner up to Jack. It’s difficult with him moving about, but she gets sufficient analysis. “It’s reading like LSD. Only, well, alien. And it seems to be dissipating at a rapid rate. Should be gone in about three, two-”

Jack collapses onto the sofa, arms and legs splayed out, with a dopey grin on his face.

Owen hurries over, feels for a pulse and checks Jack’s breathing. Satisfied, he stands back, scowling. “Why is Jack always the one blasted with alien narcotics?”

“Just lucky, I guess.” Everyone turns to stare at Ianto. “What? He looked like he was having fun.”

“Jack’s going to be OK, right?” Gwen asks, standing over his inert body.

Owen waves his hand in the air. “Yeah, drugs’ll wear off and he’ll be the same old Jack.” He pauses. “Probably.”

Ianto bends over Jack’s body to brush his fringe off his forehead, and whispers, “He’s fine.”

The four of them stand around, awkwardly, for a few seconds.

“So…” Owen breaks the silence, “we’re going to watch the CCTV of that now, right?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Definitely.”

“I’ll go make popcorn.”

* * *


End file.
